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Wallower

by Icholas Yurgh

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1.
On-air 05:30
In some way we're all waiting for a response Shouldn't demand one, but of course it'd be nice to catch up All trying to make it, despite all that stuff and it can be done, it just takes a whole lot of patience so build that with me help shape my reality create new understandings keep on living while you still have that choice, while you're still flesh take any chance as a step towards creation Yet don't ask too much, just enough just trust your instincts but not necessarily, or unnecessarily, everyone else's Because this world can destroy anyone without needing a reason
2.
Placeholder 04:07
All of those times when eyes wanted to die they're encoded in songs, as sung by Yurgh | An alter of sorts \ & those pains will remain for as along as our web stays in place a sonic case for my most distorted headspaces Yeah..that's how eyes roam... by running in circles \\\ (and re-gurgitatin') the sticky masses of past circumstances & now eyes'll do it again 'cross this whole darned album. Yep.Yep.Yep. ____________ Cool fact: eyes can count on both hands All the times eyes tossed m ambitions & yet eye'm still standing' somewhat tall despite it all No, eyes not thriving. No, eyes not thriving--but survival itself is encourageable At least for most mornings, when eyes embrace the role of the fool _____________ So as eyes restart again, that zero sure holds meme Ass, it's mannequin; as its puppet, ask its king ...................... & all that eyes have is justice's breath tooth give you
3.
Wiggin' out on /this side/ of Hell Eyes once again self-created Wakin' up outside mice-self A cold soul whom was once a furnace & as eyes go out of here, don't follow memes this time Bid farewells beyond /those/ stairs it's times to say goodbyes buh-byes-byes-byes & ya know eyes not sure wise, eye hides behinds that names Dropped a letter and re-arranged five others & in retrospects it's all rather weirds when considerings how eyes still publishes tunes openlies, knowinglies acknowledgings thems as mades by meez an aliases mades me aliens | two aspects of mine identities & so Icholass Yurghs, ahs, rests as piece a meats
4.
"enough humming," she said, "boots are comin' real soon, no time to grab our goods, just make way to our one safe room" Where the roof won't cave-in & crush our precious heads, hands, & legs All things which hold us {together} in this realm of so much blah bl&h, bl&h, bl&h b_hbl&hbbl@hBuLoAhBLaaaahBLAaA(A?!)Blah Ha... Let's not remain. Neurotically fixated on our deranged pains & regrets How pathetic will our neighbors be this year? Maybe we should test it! w/ something like a barometer Prospective raiders w/ prosthetic souls can't keep it copacetic while putrescence unfolds. When winter hits, wood would be like gold! & cigarettes become platinum Makeshift bandages & questionable medicine Down in our basement; worthy of our vault! DO YOU STILL TRULY THINK WE ARE ALL THE SAME? AFTER WITNESSING THE EVIL WAYS PEOPLE MAY ACT IN DESPERATION, AS IF THEIR CONSCIENCE WAS ERASED Whelp. If you've gotten too depressed, to get up & out of bed, I'll make sure that you stay fed & comforted Unless I'm shot dead
5.
Untitled 04:04
6.
Son son of a birch had gotten clo- ser. same sun since birth; has had to start over & his hands are tied again Four::--In the middle of the night, w/ his family tree set afire, in a plume of smoke...the mountain sighed. "YA KNOW, YOUR HEART'S AWFULLY RED-EYED," his subconscious opined--no longer in silence so he closed the portal. to. his. mind. put a lid upon their eyelids surely it'll keep those lipids in check let's check: are you still getting lip from those listless C B S. R R R W E O A H TRAINED 0 N I IN K C C GETTIN' E H H. TOTALLY D. E A WRECKED Demolition: she's in fashion, & maybe she's always been. After shedding one too many guises::-- @ the drop of a pork-pie his selfhood seemed atomized & "the man," again agonizes as a mannequin can't recognize its countenance in any light &_so_he's_wonderin'_if_he_should_take_ flight in_the_middle_of_the_night_before_there_are_coins_on_his_eyes
7.
Miss, I am SO SORRY, but please leave your sorrows @ that gate.. The so-called CAPTAIN says "we wain't takin' any extra weight" Anyway, while I was questionin' his rank, did ya happen to think: " oh man...this ship is about to sink......." Yuhp, mm-hmm, you're probably right about that, but still.. it couldn't hurt to slow this thang down, so eyes focus on her smile An old $@LTD0G! @ SeA, gently paddlin' in the galactic whirlpool wHoOoOoOoAaAaA(A?!)H! Just some doggo tryin' tuh keep its cool Wouldn't want to seem to you to be anyone other than who I am Be gentle now, darling honey bee, don't you know I'm dreading that sting &yeah_eyes_knows_that_was_cheezeys Wot3v3r AHhdOAAhSHIIIIIIIIT THERE GOES MY HEAD AGAIN? DON'T YOU SEE IT FLYIN' ACROSS THE ROOM?! Sweetie, would ya be a doll & catch that please it ain't urgent, but it'd help to move this thang along ah, now where were we? Sincerely just wouldn't want you to think you need to pretend you're someone else.
8.
so surely this seems silly, yet... a Keurig can sometimes cure me & so do those scarlet bulls their matadors & all winged bings the lovable freaks...all good company! Aww, yay, they let the light in. Cos caffeine and nicotine they're dream beams (at least to a proper fiend (a broken being)) Classic conditioning Warped dreams Warping into the next thing Nether regions Neither rejections nor failed things will again displace me nuh uh cos this new thing keeps on moving this new sequence keeps my head clean helps my heart dream
9.
Circuitry 05:00
Circus Sir, he kisses too much ass Sir...he's drowning in sycophantic nonsense Serve the scary--stir-panned silly Aww shucks, he's off again in some other beyond but not beyond hope not by a long shot nor passed the point of being helped but in some way utterly lost Be that as it may, don't think he can't be saved in a way that's meaningful for him or her or any label at all Don't let all go, or ever pretend there's no hope Because there can always be hope As long as you want it there and I want it there It would be a form of kicking the weak every single week If you did not help in any way your heart asks you to do the nicest thing so you better do that thang do it do it do it do it do that thang do it do it do it do it do that thaaang do it do it do it do it do that thing doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo ew And unless you slip and let yourself become cruel you should really listen to what your heart wants you to do yep, if there is some kind of universal truth it can probably be boiled down to don't be such a dick no one, not a single person out there deserves it under any sir cum stances nun srsly just be nice (lol at me prepping to be an asshole in the next track)
10.
smdh 03:37
Maplewood folk suck my nuts, Cedar Chest friends I'm sorry for your loss Speaking of which, Greywood Girlfriend rest in peace, and Sulphur Tors, keep self-destructing So long, Maria. Adios, sayonara to all you phantoms and ghosts Peace out, pussyfoot drooler dolts. Mouth-breathers thanks for all that needless stuff Have a day and kiss my butt Happy Birthday Dory Dolphin It's safe to say that we ate friends All thanks to what was my one-time gay panic oh well I'll just stick to chicks Hey ladies! My best friend is getting married...there are cats fighting on my..phone screen, and I wouldn't mind having a foxy lady join in w/ me and yeah that's self-advertising but I don't care Uhm, uh, just get bent and stuff For fun, Donald Trump burn in hell Yep, this is an album, and it's over. I have a job to do, so I'm gonna go do my job now. It was fun, a lot of the time. I'd like to thank Matthew, again..no not that Matt, my GOOD friend Matt..my BEST FRIEND Matt over in Virginia.. I look soooo forward to meeting you Alexis and spending time with y'all's dogs..yeah, you two are awesome, a lot of you other people, you just suck. Seriously Donald Trump, you can burn in hell, and Ted Cruz, you can, too, I don't really care Anyway, that's why I'm not waiting for a response.

about

The professional literature and popular understanding each offer that the first step in overcoming a problem is to recognize it. Reckoning with ghosts follows a similar premise - for those still living to make peace with those who no longer do.

Wallower opens with a tragedy – the singular moment where potentially parallel paths find irreversible divergence. The abstract of possibility looms large while we are amongst the living. Tomorrow I can call them. Tomorrow I can tell them how I feel. Tomorrow I can make up for everything. What then, when tomorrow comes and of two there remains only one? The infinite possibility of the abstract becomes the concrete and truly limited reality of the world that remains.

Wallower is not an exorcism, for we can no more expunge our ghosts than unmake our choices that made them so. But we can face them; give them form; and give them name. There is no guarantee of peace on the other side but without the effort, we could never learn otherwise. Wallower is the sound of that effort, of reckoning with ghosts.
"""
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^M.R.B.^^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

credits

released May 9, 2023

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o
------I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU, MRB----------
o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o00o00o0o0o0o0o
Oh, there's someone else who loves you
VERYVERYVERYVERYMUCH(VERYVERYVERYVERY)
Hey, _____, how do you feel about this glorious man?

"Oh where to even start... [Dongerthal] the most brilliant and unexpected thing in my life. He came into my life when I stopped looking for love, was terrified by it. And he made me feel safe for the first time in a long time. He's like the first breath of clean air after years of being choked by poisonous smog. I love that he laughs out loud all the time, that he makes me laugh and smile, that he never lets me drown in my own darkness. He has the most amazing mind, and I love that he's always putting it to use. He's so perfectly himself. He doesn't pretend to be someone else. He gives the best hugs, and his constant warmth is delicious. I love him for a million little reasons, not all of which I can capture with words. I love him because he loves me for me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Icholas Yurgh Phoenix, Arizona

A place for pain.

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